


do you think rocks have a heart?

by rysemble



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Multi, NOMURA TURN OB YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK, OBVIOUSLY NOT CANON AFTER THAT FUCKIGN ENDING JESUS CHRIAT MH HANDS ARE SHALING AS I TYOE THIS TAG, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III, chatfic, even though it's slightly different in this, everyone is happy, first time writing me some kingdom hearts, possibly, the characters are gonna be super ooc probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-04-18 08:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14208963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rysemble/pseuds/rysemble
Summary: probably ooc kingdom hearts chatfic ft many gayshere's my hellsite (tumblr) blog: http://rysemble.tumblr.com/





	1. sora dies (not really)

**Author's Note:**

> soar-a: if i don't survive this, tell my mom that i'm sorry i was like three years late for dinner  
> Riku: Way to leave her hanging there, very disappointing. Ten points from Hufflepuff!  
> soar-a: what makes you think i'm a hufflepuff?!?  
> Riku: You make friends with everyone almost instantly  
> soar-a: don't out me like this riku

Sora and Riku’s DM’s:  
soar-a: rikuiheckedupslightlypleasheLPME  
Riku: Sora.  
Riku: It is.  
Riku: Four in the morning.  
soar-a: i know but  
soar-a: leon is just a tiny bit in a "i'm going to murder sora" mood  
Riku: At four am? When he should be asleep?  
Riku: Like a certain boyfriend that I know and love?  
soar-a: i spilt lipstick in his valentino bag  
Riku:....In his Valentino White Bag?  
soar-a: aka i tried to prank him for a late april fools prank and it Backfired  
soar-a: if i don't survive this, tell my mom that i'm sorry i was like three years late for dinner  
Riku: Way to leave her hanging there, very disappointing. Ten points from Hufflepuff!  
soar-a: what makes you think i'm a hufflepuff?!?  
Riku: You make friends with everyone almost instantly  
soar-a: don't out me like this riku  
Riku: Too late. I'm going to broadcast in the Group Chat that you're a Gosh Darn Hufflepuff  
Riku: The Group Chat that we do not have  
soar-a: :0  
soar-a: babe this is a criminal offence, i must solve this immediately  
Soar-a: incoming croup chat!  
Riku: This is going to be amazing  
soar-a: i know :3  
Riku: Don’t you three mouth at me   
soar-a: :3  
Riku: Sora.  
soar-a: owo  
Riku: Sora I hear the very loud angry yelling from a man who loves his Anime swords which are also guns.  
soar-a: where?  
Riku: Not telling. You did this to yourself  
soar-a: pwease, mastwer wiku, i’ll dwo anything owo  
Riku: Anything?  
Soar-a: ywes!  
Riku: Then Perish   
soar-a: D:  
Riku: Just out of curiosity, where are you hidden?  
soar-a: in the air vents, why?  
Riku: :)  
soar-a: riku  
soar-a: that better not be leon in the vents  
soar-a: riku?  
Riku: I’m sorry, the old Riku can’t come to the phone right now. Why?  
Riku: Because this is Leon and I can see your spiky ass hair coming up  
soar-a: JHWNHFJENSIOFJEOJF  
Riku: Man, I can’t wait to ground you  
soar-a: man, i can’t wait to see you with blonde hair  
soar-a: you’re not my real dad you can’t ground me  
Riku: Sora Leonhart you better take that back before I get Cid to ground you even more  
soar-a: you wouldn’t  
Riku: Yes I would  
soar-a: doN’T CALL HIM I’M TOO GAY TO DIE  
Riku: YOU ARE NEVER TOO GAY TO DIE  
soar-a: NO I’M NOT  
soar-a: I AM THE SUPERIOR GAY  
soar-a: YOU WILL BEND TO MY WILL  
Riku: ….Okay, Number One  
Riku: I’ve been gayer for longer than you so jot that down  
soar-a: you’re bi   
Riku: I’m not done boi  
Riku: Number Two  
Riku: There is no way that I am bending to Mr Hufflepuff  
soar-a: sorry i’m not fluent in edgelord   
soar-a: i am however fluent in bob ross  
soar-a: WHY ARE YOUR HANDS SO CODL BHKKGHJCHJCGJXL  
Riku: Because it reflects the temperature of my heart :3  
soar-a: blonde suits you btw  
Riku: Fuck You  
soar-a: ew no you're my dad  
Riku: True. Plus you already have a Daddy  
soar-a: RIKU AND I ARE MINORS YOU SICK FUCK  
soar-a: keep this behavior up and you won't be invited to the discord server  
Riku: >:(  
soar-a: :)  
soar-a: binch i’m being serious  
Riku: I’m not fluent in Anime hair, what are you saying?  
<=>  
soar-a has added Riku to the server  
soar-a has added C. Strife to the server  
soar-a has changed Riku’s nickname to the cool one  
soar-a has changed C. Strife’s nickname to blondie  
blondie: No.  
the cool one: Yes  
soar-a: yes   
blondie: I refuse to be a part of this  
soar-a: accept your fate  
blondie: Absolutely not. My sanity can not stand up against the force of Anime Boys and their meme level  
blondie: Unless Leon’s here  
blondie: Then I can manage  
soar-a: okay, if he makes you feel more comfy then!  
the cool one: so pure  
soar-a: hush  
soar-a has added Leonhart to the server  
soar-a has changed Leonhart’s nickname to Lion Boi  
Lion Boi: Okay, fair enough   
Lion Boi: I deserve this nickname  
soar-a: go, be free, mr cold ass hands  
blondie: I can testify that his hands are very cold  
Lion Boi: D:<  
Lion Boi: Blocked, blocked, blocked, none of you are free of sin  
Lion Boi: Except Sora, you're doing amazing sweetie   
soar-a: :3 riku is doing amazing too  
Lion Boi: Where is he, anyway?  
soar-a: image.png  
Lion Boi: :0  
Lion Boi: Omg he slep  
blondie: Slep?  
Lion Boi: ‘Tis a meme, my dear  
blondie: I need to meme more  
Lion Boi: I will watch the entire Important Video playlist with you on a date  
soar-a: cloud marry him  
soar-a: that is almost peak boyfriend material right there  
soar-a: such commitment!  
blondie: Is that a big deal in the house of memery?  
soar-a: yes marry him  
blondie: Alright.  
Lion Boi: I/////I


	2. sora aggressively cares about roxas (plus ventus contemplates what does or does not have a heart) (xion is there but isn't)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which sora's heart hotel all confuse leon and cloud

sora's heart hotel tm:

soar-a has changed their nickname to foxy roxy  
foxy roxy has changed their nickname to soar-a  
soar-a: STOP SAYING YOU'RE ME  
soar-a: YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT NOBODY WHO DON'T NEED NO OTHER  
soar-a has changed their nickname to roxy  
roxy: YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT TO BE NICE  
foxy roxy: CAUSE YOU'RE A HUFFLEPUFF  
foxy roxy: AND THAT’S WHAT YOU DO  
foxy roxy has changed their nickname to soar-a  
soar-a: D:<  
soar-a: BE NICE TO YOURSELF BOI  
soar-a: I AM NOT SAYING THAT JUST TO BE NICE

soar-a: I'M SAYING THAT BECAUSE IT'S TRUE 

soar-a: YOUNG MAN

soar-a has changed their nickname to venti 

venti: omfg i love this dynamic so much

venti: (ps roxas if you don’t start loving yourself i will have no choice but to fight you in sora's gay ass heart)

venti has changed their nickname to foxy roxy 

foxy roxy: shut your mouth sleeping beauty i do what i want

foxy roxy has changed their nickname to soar-a 

soar-a: roxas that's our big brother don't be rude!

soar-a: D:<

+×+×+×+×+

super cool group chat in which we all are Not Straight:

soar-a has changed their nickname to gay heart hotel

the cool one: Oh? No?

gay heart hotel: v: i literally came out here to contemplate what does or doesn't have a heart and i feel so attacked right now

Lion Boi: Do trees have hearts?

blondie: Does trees are hearts?

gay heart hotel: r: you filthy memers 

gay heart hotel: r: also like

gay heart hotel: r: computer sora has a heart so

gay heart hotel: r: i guess everything does?

blondie: There's a computer Sora?

gay heart hotel: s: ask riku about it

the cool one: I don't know anything I am homosexual 

gay heart hotel: s: THAT IS SUCH A MOOD BABE

the cool one has changed their nickname to Clueless Homosexual

Lion Boi: So what's even happening?

Lion Boi: Why is Sora putting a different letter in front of his nickname?

gay heart hotel: s: it all started, when i was like ten seconds old

gay heart hotel: s: my heart helped heal v's heart and four years later v almost died and decided to chill out here

gay heart hotel: r: and then sora stabbed himself with a fucking keyblade to save kairi

gay heart hotel: r: and i came into being as his nobody then i got absorbed back into him and now i chill here too

Lion Boi: That made no sense

Lion Boi: But I appreciate you...three? Trying

blondie: Awww, you care about people

gay heart hotel has changed their nickname to pan heart hotel

pan heart hotel has changed blondies nickname to thunder dick

thunder dick: ABSOLUTELY NOT

thunder dick: WHAT MY DICK DOES STAYS BETWEEN LEON AND I 

Clueless Homosexual: My poor minor eyes

pan heart hotel: s: i'm getting bleach brb 

Lion Boi: No bleach!

pan heart hotel: r: sora 

pan heart hotel: r: do not 

pan heart hotel: r: four people live in this body and i will not let us be hurt because cloud made an innuendo and your poor minor eyes couldn't handle it

pan heart hotel: v: i technically count as an adult 

pan heart hotel: s:....brb stabbing myself with the keyblade again

pan heart hotel: v: NO

pan heart hotel: r: NO

pan heart hotel: r: XION ALSO SAYS NO

Clueless Homosexual: SORA DO NOT STAB YOURSELF I STKH 

Lion Boi: No.

Thunder Dick: Sora. I will personally assist all of the Heart Hotel in kicking your ass if you do that

pan heart hotel: s: :(

pan heart hotel: s: least it won't be as bad as fighting sephiroth

pan heart hotel: s: THAT was hell

Thunder Dick: You know what else is hell?

Thunder Dick: You scaring the shit out of me at three in the morning eating cereal out of the box

pan heart hotel: s: (riku doesn't know about that shhh)

Clueless Homosexual: So that's what happened to my Fruit Loops...

pan heart hotel: s: shhhhhhh

Clueless Homosexual: You shush, trouble magnet extraordinaire 

pan heart hotel: s: i'm not a trouble magnet!

Lion Boi: Are you sure about that?

Thunder Dick: You have almost died on several occasions 

Clueless Homosexual: You almost die every day

pan heart hotel: r: you once almost died drinking coffee with three six hour energy drinks in it when we told you not to

Clueless Homosexual: He What

pan heart hotel: s: i got better!

Thunder Dick: Is that when you shifted into edgy form ten times in the span of half an hour

pan heart hotel: s: which one?

pan heart hotel: s: there's like three

pan heart hotel: s: heartless me, vampire me,,, monster me would count as edgy i guess?

Thunder Dick: ALSO back to Sora eating cereal at three am

Thunder Dick: His eyes were doing the cat thing. Never do that again 

Thunder Dick: Please for the sake of my old gay heart

pan heart hotel: s: you're 25

pan heart hotel: s: i actually think that was roxas who you saw at three am

pan heart hotel: r: don’t pin this shit on me boi

pan heart hotel: v: do you think rocks have hearts

Clueless Homosexual: Hi Ven 

Clueless Homosexual: Great topic change

Clueless Homosexual: I'm gonna go with a yes

pan heart hotel: s: https://strawpoll.com/4b4zfzx7

Lion Boi: Did you legitimately make a strawpoll just to answer this question 

pan heart hotel: s: yes

pan heart hotel: s: i just had the best idea hopy shit

pan heart hotel has added Donald to the server

pan heart hotel has added Goof to the server 

Clueless Homosexual: No

pan heart hotel has changed Goof's nickname to Goofy Goober

pan heart hotel has changed Donald's nickname to You Tried

pan heart hotel: s: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love my boy :) i love all my boys :)


	3. vanitas craves dr pepper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> forgive me father, for i have no writing talent

vanitas: hey y’all got some dr pepper?  
the cooler riku: vanitas. why would we have dr pepper  
vanitas: i dunno, cause we’re at least somewhat civilized   
larxene: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
larxene: BITCH YOU THOUGHT  
the cooler riku: dude i caught xemnas walking around in a sleeping bag yesterday  
the cooler riku: there is no way we’re civilized  
vanitas: y’know what. i’m just gonna fuckign join the  
vanitas: heroes  
vanitas: cause y’all don’t have dr pepper  
vanitas: bye gamers

vanitas has left the chat

aqua: My favourite colour is blood

-fuck xehanort chat-

vanitas has joined the chat

Clueless Homosexual: Whomst  
pan heart hotel: why  
vanitas: they don’t have dr pepper  
vanitas: and i Have Cravings  
Clueless Homosexual:...For blood?  
vanitas: no for dr pepper jfc  
vanitas: i’m not fucking uncivilized god  
pan heart hotel: how to get two people who live in your head to shut up and stop yelling  
pan heart hotel: help me google  
vanitas: no  
pan heart hotel: r: bitch you aint google  
pan heart hotel: r: you are what is known as a Dick  
vanitas: honestly yeah that’s true  
vanitas: so can i have my dr pepper now please  
vanitas: because i agreed with y’all on something  
Clueless Homosexual: But we’re...in different places?  
pan heart hotel: you near me still?  
vanitas: yeet -dabs-  
pan heart hotel: v: are you going to kill him the minute you lay eyes on him like what you literally just tried to do  
vanitas: well well, hey there blondie  
vanitas: long time no see  
vanitas: oh wait i see you now with dr pepper gimme  
pan heart hotel: say please  
vanitas: or what?  
pan heart hotel: >:(  
vanitas: please  
vanitas: my bones are taking me hostage  
vanitas: and they won’t release me unless i give them dr pepper  
vanitas: thank you, i owe you my life  
pan heart hotel: :3  
vanitas: i would die for you  
pan heart hotel: r: You Will  
pan heart hotel: sorry, roxas is being rude   
vanitas: it’s chill  
vanitas: surprised blondie 1 isn’t being rude at me instead  
pan heart hotel: v: i’m restraining myself from decking you at this very moment in time  
vanitas: oh come on, you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses would you?  
pan heart hotel: it honestly depends on the situation.  
Thunder Dick: Okay who is this  
Lion Boi: What did we tell you about inviting strange people into our lives Sora  
vanitas: hi i live here now  
pan heart hotel: he wanted dr pepper but the bad guys don’t have any so he lives here now  
Lion Boi: Cool, don’t feed him after midnight  
vanitas: D:<  
vanitas: fucking rude  
vanitas: but true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...kh3 is almost out and i finally have motivation to write again, so i decided to update this. honestly i forgot how fun it is to write sora in my slightly ooc way


	4. donald duck has murdered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> possible kh3 spoilers ahead, if you haven't been emotionally drained by that game yet then you may wanna skip this chapter

pan heart hotel has added Aqua to the chat  
pan heart hotel has added Terradactyl to the chat  
pan heart hotel has added windy boi to the chat  
pan heart hotel has added roxass to the chat  
pan heart hotel has added xi-gone thot to the chat   
pan heart hotel has added flame on to the chat  
Clueless Homosexual: Sora  
Clueless Homosexual: Why all of them at once?  
pan heart hotel: cause i can  
vanitas: yeah don't tell him how to live his life Riku  
vanitas: he’s a strong independent man who don't need no heart hotel  
pan heart hotel has added Naminè to the chat  
pan heart hotel has added kai to the chat 

pan heart hotel has changed their nickname to dead but not forgotten 

Clueless Homosexual: SORA  
dead but not forgotten: dying sucked   
dead but not forgotten: so now i’m using humor to mask the pain  
kai: you good fam?  
dead but not forgotten: i haven't slept in a week  
Lion Boi: Ahem  
Lion Boi: You Haven't Slept In How Long?  
Lion Boi: Young Man  
dead but not forgotten: in my defence  
dead but not forgotten: dysphoria combined with the trauma of what happened last week is not a very good thing to fall asleep to  
Clueless Homosexual: I'm fighting your trauma  
kai: not without me! ^-^  
Aqua: You fight those traumas kids  
Aqua: Terra that is a bad nickname and you should feel bad  
Terradactyl: No  
Terradactyl: My nickname is great   
Thunder Dick: It's really….creative   
windy boi: >:0  
windy boi: you stole that nickname from me!!!  
Terradactyl: No I didn't   
Terradactyl: You have no proof  
windy boi: i literally remember me calling you that six months after meeting you but go off i guess   
xi-gone thot: oof  
xi-gone thot: can we get an f in chat please?  
Naminè: F  
vanitas: f  
Aqua: F  
vanitas: there there terra  
vanitas: you’ll get over it  
Thunder Dick: It isn't as bad as mine at least  
Terradactyl: HKJGJKH  
Aqua: You’re right that's terrible how the fuck did that happen   
windy boi: roxas changed clouds name to thunder dick   
windy boi: and then cloud was like “WHAT MY DICK DOES STAYS BETWEEN LEON AND I”  
windy boi: and now here we are  
windy boi: with thunder dick  
Thunder Dick: It sucks  
Thunder Dick: But I’m too lazy to change it  
vanitas: god that's a mood shorty  
flame on: you’re 5’3  
vanitas: yeah and who do i have to blame for that?  
vanitas: :eyes: at @dead but not forgotten   
dead but not forgotten: shhhhhhh we’re fighting my traumas   
dead but not forgotten: also not my fault you're short  
vanitas: WE LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME HOW IS IT NOT YOUR FAULT  
dead but not forgotten: uhhh  
dead but not forgotten: our hair and eyes are different colours?  
vanitas: stfu apart from that  
dead but not forgotten:   
dead but not forgotten: still yours  
dead but not forgotten: caUSE I LOOKED LIKE THIS FIRST  
dead but not forgotten: BUT THEN YOU STOLE MY LOOK  
vanitas: NOT INTENTIONALLY   
vanitas: DICK

You Tried has changed vanitas’s name to vanyeetas 

vanyeetas: okay fuck you  
You Tried: Beastiality  
You Tried: @ Me if shit happens I'm too old to deal with a bunch of whiny ass teenagers, half of whom have been in sora's heart at some point, and I need to fucking sleep before I commit another murder  
Clueless Homosexual: Another Murder


End file.
